Friday, December 7, 2007

Spreading Ourselves Thin: A Fish Called Wanda Edition

BILLS (-7) over Dolphins: "We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie."

Miami is looking to go 13-0 in moral victories.

EAGLES (-3) over Giants: "He's so dumb... he thought the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived."
Little Elijah is so precious. He'll pass for four scores (to New York) and seven yards total.

BENGALS (-7) over Rams: "Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? 'They were God's second blunder.'"
And Scott Linehan is the lord's third blunder.

49ERS (+8.5) over Vikings: "You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're... smart, you've got wonderful bones, and you dress really interestingly."
Something tells us Mike Nolan will pay more attention to the gameplan than to his wardrobe this week. Although that of course could still equate to a double digit loss.

BRONCOS (-6.5) over Chiefs: "I love robbing the English, they're so polite."
The Rat will have Herm bent over by the end of the first quarter and be in the tanning booth by halftime.

RAVENS (+9) over Colts: "The central message of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself'".
Ray Lewis versus Tony Dungy. An epic Christian holy war in the high heavens of Bodymore, USA. First team with a far eastern religious thought covers.

Yeah we take home teams. We pick that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Enjoy the games everybody.

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