True Life: I'm Trying to Re-sign Chili Davis, Pt. II

Chevron station in San Francisco, December 12

Brian Sabean: Hmm, so many types of fuel at the pumps these days. Which one should I get to replace my old steroid-ridden fuel that leaked out? Wait... did I remember to remember to TiVo You, Me and Dupree? Aw, rats.

*Dodgers GM Ned Colletti pulls up in his Blue Aerostar, honks horn*

Sabean: Ok, ok Coley. Gimme a second. Let's see here, $3.49? $3.59? or $3.89 for the diesel? My Miata could use that extra boost, I'll spring for the diesel. *Removes sunglasses* Diesel, I offer you five gallons for $90. Are you his agent? *Turns toward shrub planted next to pump* Ok, it's a deal. Final final. *Shakes branch*

Colletti: Quit jerking off that shrub Sabo. I need to pull in and fill up on that gas that got Schuerholtz 2.22 miles per gallon last year and makes your car prance around when you step on the accelerator.

Sabean: Okey doke. *Salutes* Remember my son, best of luck in your travels. May you live the dream of signing Bill Van Landingham's dad to a pitching deal. *Gives thumbs up*

*Sabes proceeds to insert gasoline nozzel into cigarette lighter, begins pouring*

Giants sign Rowand to five-year deal [SFgiants.com]

Updated Ed. Note: Oh, good it was only for $60 million. Not 90, as was first estimated.