Sunday, December 9, 2007

Moronic Personnel Decisions? Or Jealousy Fueled Youth Dumpage

When the Lincecum for Rios trade gets approved by Sabean I’ll be loading up the family garbage with my entire Giants’ paraphernalia collection. I’ll grab the i-Pod, head down to the local mall, snag myself a Sbarro slice, some Christmas silk boxers, and a sparkling new Blue Jays hat.

I can’t watch any more if Lincecum is gone. The dream is dead.

I will, however, get some encouragement if this trade goes through. It will validate my front office-back door Magowan/Sabean love affair theory.

Why do you think Magowan sits in the front row instead of the owner’s box? To be one with the fans? No, he’s trying to guard against the easy association that can be made from “GM and owner, owners box, San Francisco, long term deals”…the silver lining is Sabes chillin' solo in the box behind his Oakleys, ogling Petey Mag’s whispy blonde locks.

More proof: Sabes trades any player under thirty and only signs players in their forties…why? Because he doesn’t want Magowan to get a wandering eye. Even in the Schmidt trade, the best trade of Sabean’s career, handsome youngsters were shipped off for one of the weirdest looking eggheads in baseball.

Joe Nathan? Get him out of here. We’ll take the junkyard loudmouth A.J. Pierzynski. No threat there.

Into this treacherous love fest scenario comes shining Timmy Lincecum. He’s young, bouncy, bendable, and now he’s on his way to freeze his ass off in Canada and the American League, far away from the clutches of Magowan’s bewitching charm. So long Timmy, bye-bye. (Ed. Note: Fortunately, Lincecum made it safely through the winter meetings in black and orange, and appears safe in the City. For now. *Knock on Sabes' head*)


No comments: