The San Diego Padres signed that Ferrari tape rewinder from that partially molded box in your garage to a one year, $1 million contract.
You know, that sleek-looking silver thing that was so promising back in '97 but has never been fully capable of rewinding a VHS all the way from end to start, and fucks up DVDs that you try to get it to service.
Technological scouts agree the mechanics of its spinning cylinders appear flawless, but they always end up chewing your tapes. Now, it will be chewing up about 15 innings in the NL West during the 2008 season.
Padres sign Prior to one-year deal [CNNSI]