He dragged the 2005 National League Championship trophy around the Minute Maid Park parking lot in his wood-paneled Chrysler LeBaron. He bashfully streaked down the buttress and across the diamond in a beige body suit. He stuffed his face with juicy strawberries while wearing a vintage Nolan Ryan Astros uniform. And now, he finally gets his wish.
The Lord of the Idiots, along with four other Houston players, was shipped to Baltimore Wednesday for slugging infielder Miguel Tejada.
Yep, the Jerk Store's all-time best seller is headed to Murdaland. At least we're pretty sure that's who they mean when they say Michael Costanzo.