Monday, December 3, 2007

Over Zealous Hydration Supplier F***s the Dog

BALTIMORE -- The Ravens lost to the unbeaten Patriots Monday night in aqeuously excruciating fashion.

Baltimore's defense made what looked to be a game-winning stop of New England on a 4th-and-1 play late in the final quarter only to have their dream upset rattled awake by one of their own.

The Ravens team waterboy called for, and was given, a timeout by the referee just seconds before Tom Brady received the snap and ran for no gain on a quarterback sneak.

"Reverend Ray [Lewis] mistakenly drank from the wrong bottle on the sideline prior to the play," waterboy Wally Thompson explained. "I figured he needed his holy water before the big fourth down so of course I threw up the T-bone."

Head coach Brian Billick assured the media in his post-game press conference that he will now reevaluate his sideline policy which grants every object that resembles, or has the capacity to construct, a 'T', the power to call timeouts.

"You know," Thompson suggested. "I guess you could say the game was god damned."

No comments: