What would you say if we told you the Sharks are so stacked this year that four of their goals over the past three games have been scored using only the patch of skin between the scrotum and the anus?
Indeed it is, and we owe it all to the promising Canadian youngster Devin Setoguchi. Gooch, as he has been dubbed by captain* Joe Thornton, holds the best nickname in hockey, and may also hold the Calder Memorial Trophy come June.
The eighth overall pick of 2005 boasts an impressive young resume lodged in the landscape under his manpon: 6 goals in 8 career games - including a deuce in his debut and another 2-ball in a win Monday night against Phoenix - which already lands him second on San Jose in goals.
Let us reiterate the purpose for celebration here though; it isn't Setoguchi's furious goal output per se, rather the privelage for every teal-clad puck fan to now be able to appropriately shout out 'GOOCH!' on a daily basis.
Note to Phoenix and Edmonton fans, respectively: Fret not. Roger Taintsworth and Dave Grundlier will be called up to the big stage soon enough, and you too will have your time to shine.
*Actually, alternate captain. Sorry Patty, and thanks to Justin Vonderach for correction.