Sunday, November 11, 2007

Football Pearls Learned at the Barbershop

Mark is a jovial man in his forties. He is a passionate San Diego Chargers fan who subscribes to both the NFL Network and NFL Sunday Ticket. He's from the old school: not only does he cut a mean hair, but provides a smooth shave, and cherries it off with a shoulder massage. Mark also likes to preach pigskin, and boy do we ever love to drink it in. Without further adieu, here are the pearls Barber Mark provided us this week (Almost enough to make a necklace, if you will).

Tom Brady is the most overrated athlete in sports. Without his offensive line, he'd be Joey Harrington.
Statistically, Jeff Garcia is having the best season among quarterbacks. His rating is something in the neighborhood of 186. He also completed the longest pass in NFL history last week against Arizona. It was about an 85 yarder for pay dirt (Power Alley's longest completion was, in fact, 37 yards.)
Garcia has been bouncing from team to team not because of his play on the field, but because of his play off the field. Like Joe Namath, Garcia requires a fifth of Jim Beam before each game.
Purple Jesus' 296-yard effort against the Chargers wasn't too impressive. San Diego contained Jesus in the first half but when they lost their big run stopper due to injury, anybody would have shredded them.
♣ If Chris Chambers doesn't break off a route in the third quarter, the Chargers win that game in the Metrodome. Had the pass been completed, the Vikings would have needed to respect the San Diego aerial game more, and wouldn't have been able to stuff eight men in the box. Also, if Antonio Gates would have got going, the Vikings would only have been able to put four men in the box and it would have been LDT breaking the single-game rushing record (We assume this means the linebackers would have been lining up as DBs?).
♣ Cleveland is looking to deal Brady Quinn for a first-round pick.

We still maintain that Barber Mark would be an excellent upgrade for the Chargers from Norv Turner, no doubt in our mind. On the other side of the coin we'd rather get a haircut by peeling post-its from our scalp than leave Norv with the scissors.

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