Monday, November 5, 2007

Colts DeeJay Mistakenly Plays Remix

At the beginning of the fourth quarter of the Colts/Pats game battle of good and evil Sunday the deejay at the RCA Dome commited the ultimate party foul. He let the crowd noise CD skip for a few seconds while the Colts were on defense!

Man, talk about a buzzkill. Let's take a look at some of the other abominable acts that this rabblerouser has executed during various Indianapolis Colts social events (which LBMS heard from Mike Vanderjagt in a sit-down interview after he split the uprights of his tonsils with a bottle of Goldschlager*).

10/21/2003 @ Offensive coordinator Tom Moore's Wedding Anniversary Celebration: Smokes a pack of Misty's alone in bathroom, sets off smoke detector, guests forced to evacuate.

10/31/2004 @ Marvin Harrison's daughter's Halloween party: Dresses as tampon. Steals 8-ball keg tap, flees party via crawling under backyard fence.

12/22/2004 @ Edgerrin James' Gangstarrr X-Mas Party: Spills beer on Peyton Manning as he's reading his playbook in a rocking chair in the corner. Escorted out of house by offensive lineman Jeff Saturday. Calls cops with noise complaint out of spite.

7/4/2006 @ Safety Bob Sanders' Independence Day Block Party: Lights a Piccolo Pete near Mrs. Sanders. Gets tackled through garage door by Bob.

7/1/2007 @ Tony Dungy's Christian-themed book release party: Urinates on Jesus ice statue, which melts. Forces Dungy to mutter 'serenity now' under breath rest of night.

8/3/2007 @ Final Fantasy XII tournament at punter Hunter Smith's residence: Shoots heroin. Passes out on couch, inadvertently suffocates Smith's girlfiend's toy poodle.

*Drunken kicker at one point during the conversation scraped the gold flakes from the bottom of his empty glass and pasted them on his earrings.

UPDATE: Vanderjagt recently admitted to all of the transgressions which he previously blamed on the RCA Dome deejay. Oh, and they say Indy did not cheat. Roger [Goodell, valiant effort on squelching] that.

Thanks to With Leather for leading us to video at Fanhouse.

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