Thursday, November 1, 2007

Multi-Sport, Multi-National Melee May Prove Tennis Stars' Innocence

Semi-bangable tennis phenom Martina Hingis was accused of testing positive for cocaine, then promptly announced her retirement. To quote the lovable Eightball from Full Metal Jacket: "What the motherfuck?!"

But now some light is being shed on the situation. Sources close to LBMS tell us that Andy Reid's troubled son Garrett actually served as a ballboy at Wimbledon for several of Hingis' matches this past summer. Multiple Brits say they witnessed Reid "salting" Hingis' balls with a "white powdery substance" prior to her service games.

The 27-year old Swiss racketeer maintains she has never taken any drugs in her life. When asked to comment on his alleged actions in England, Reid replied, "No shit, really? I thought that was just a dream bro."

No comments: