Thursday, October 4, 2007

You'll Take His Life But He'll Take Yours Too...

We now have a favorite Diamondback player - the man, the myth, the Trooper: Mark Reynolds.

The Arizona third baseman clearly embodies the vim and the vigor of the Union Jack-toting, bayonet-lunging badass that hurdles the bodies of Russian/Chicago Cub soldiers as he plunges into certain death.

Reynolds fired his musket a little hot in the fifth inning of Game 1, airmailing the ball a couple floors over 6'7" Tony Clark. But as a true warrior he did not shed a tear nor draw a parting groan.

He returned to the battle square (read: batter's box), smelled the acrid smoke and horse's breath of a Carlos Marmol fastball and cannon-blasted it 400+ feet over the left field wall.

Is it too late to change our pick to the D-Backs over the Cubbies? We were not aware that the desert-dwelling 3bagger had fucking Maiden as his walk-up music! What a rapturous change-of-pace from the usual Metallica/AC-DC/Link in Park that most white ballplayers walk out of the on-deck circle to.

At least Reynolds understands that playoff baseball in Phoenix isn't just entertainment for cactus-touching yuppies, it is WAR! Now, if Bob Melvin could somehow notify the D-Backs "fans" that Chase Field isn't a movie theatre...

Game 2 of the NLDS tonight at 7 on TBS. UP THE IRONS!


Jesse said...

Who's link in park? Or did that one just go way over my head?

Doje said...

Lincoln* Park