A Fairytale of a Swap

What if Heisman voting worked the same way the AP polls did? You beat us, you leapfrog us*. If so, then the long-lost eighth dwarve, after his superb night at the helm against Kentucky, would now be at the top of the list in the race for that highly coveted stiff-arming piece of brass.

Indeed, 'Cock freshman QB Chris Smelley outperformed Heisman front-runner Andre' Woodson of the Wildcats in the USC victory Thursday. And hey, since Disney has a hyper-vested interest in college football, maybe the megalomediamachine that is espin will get their hyping gears in motion for a Smelley 4 Heisman campaign! They can even parlay it into a movie!!

Think of all the cash Disney would rake in for a Snow White and the Eight Dwarves! Walt's Co. could even score extra cool points for adding one to the number of the original title. This particular concept is always a gonad-smashing success in Hollywood. Ocean's 12, Ocean's 13, uhh... 3 Fast 3 Furious!

Seriously though, Woodson is now out of the Heisman race right? Aren't duds on national TV supposed to be daggers? Or is it ok since everyone was watching the baseball game instead? Granted, the ol' ball coach's defensive coordinator Tyrone Nix had a hell of a game plan, but did you see Woodson miss that wide open receiver by 10 yards early on? Heisman voters saw that right? Barring absolute skull-fucking performances against LSU and Florida, Woody will just be a flamboyant suit-wearing, fake-smiling, clapper at the Downtown Athletic Club this year to be sure.

But UK fans, it's ok. We GAIR AND TEE Woodson will have a better NFL career than Tim Couch. Moral Vs baby, moral Vs.

*Unless it's App. State