We May Need An Advent Calendar (With Booze-filled Chocolates) For the 2 Weeks of Super Bowl

DJ Jazzy Stizzle, aka The Commish, is a fresh-faced and bushy-topped contributor to LBMS. He enjoys playing in dynasty mode with piss-poor collegiate programs in several NCAA video games, and e-mailing drunken sports banter at 4 a.m. Here, we present The Commish's first installment: a dilemma in Bruinville.

The Bruin Democrats were deliberating whether to have a meeting [Super Bowl] evening and this is how I responded to a guy's idea of holding it at 7:

The game itself won't be over until at least 7 and between the post game show, trophy celebration, AND the locker room interviews we're realistically looking at after 10. We're talking about a great American Holiday here people. Superbowl Sunday (notice how both Superbowl and Sunday are always capitalized... That's because it has been adopted as an informal national holiday in our writing, and therefore in our civilization.

Dare I say it has been incorporated into the American race in a visceral way? This is Amurrica! We don't go bowling on Superbowl Sunday and we sure as shit don't get together and make decisions, organize, and banter about politics on Superbowl Sunday. {questionable Big Lebowski reference} And as a political organization I feel it is imperative that we do exactly what other political organizations and politicians do; raise money. I'm only partially joking but there's no way we're holding a fundraiser on a holiday with the magnitude of this one. We might as well throw a black and white gala on the very ground Jesus was crucified on.

I mean, you know Jesus is up in heaven sitting in a recliner made of clouds, drinking beer and eating pretzels in his bathrobe made of angel feathers, preparing to watch this game. Do we possess the audacity to collect checks from donors, let alone have a meeting, on a day when we know JC is looking down on the stadium that his father's leftover resources enabled man to create? (Can I just say how happy I am that the big guy left so much marijuana laying around the planet...it's grown and used everywhere! Truly an amazing plant.)

We're going to have an extremely hard time justifying this whole meeting thing to the big G.O.D. no matter who or what that may be in your belief set. See I like football so I like my Jesus to appreciate football. But I digress...Shall we observe the holiday? Dispense your thoughts.