Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Like Febreezing: Worst Case Scenario is It Won't Reek as Much

Towards the end of the 2006 season the Niners offense got those pickaxes swingin' and touchdown gold was beginning to look inevitable. Then, their offensive coordinator trapezed down to San Diego, and as a result 2007 was not dissimilar to sifting for gold with a used prophylactic.

But now, San Francisco has hired Mike Martz, former Matt Millen employee and alleged* Joe Cullen accomplice, to take over the offense. At the minimum we expect Mikey to get the O to at least find a nugget of fool's gold in the pan every now and then. Is 17 points per too much to ask?

One thing we can guarantee though of the challenge-minded newcomer is that because he won't have red-flagging authority, it's going to be awfully difficult for him not to carry scissors on the sideline, snip a square off his windbreaker and toss it onto the field after various O-line bed defecations.

*Spreading indecent exposure rumors about our new O-coordinator should glaze our offense with a coat of wiliness and unpredictability. At the very least the nudity potential will keep Belichick's camera zoomed out a little further when pilfering signs. The edges in the NFL still do indeed reside in the details.

No comments: