Undershirts are for the Cowardly

Congratulations to the Mad Dog on picking up his 350th career win last night. The most enjoyable part of that experience for us was the post-game press conference. We could listen to Maddux talk for hours on end.

From the reptilian tongue movement, to the commencing of each sentence with "you know, ahhh...", to the prolonged smiles after his jokes, giving the impression he just took a few bong loads in the training room; our women's hearts melt.

He dresses up in golf attire to watch tv, and he's got just the right sprinkling of Lumbergh in his speech delivery to put you in a peaceful trance.

Or perhaps we just enjoy watching him address the masses with the notion that maybe, given enough time behind the mic, he'll start rambling about his alleged brown deliveries on rookies' uniforms, or leg urinations in the shower.

Because if you're a young player, there's no better way to begin a career than to be blessed with the notorious Mad Dog coating.

Maddux beats Rockies for 350th win [MLB.com] (Click the press conference link just above the story's text for a sampling)