The Most Anticipated Sunday

We aren't talking about the Super Bowl.

Nor Selection Sunday on the 16th.



That's right Herc and Carver... we are talking about the series finale of The Wire.

David Simon, Ed Burns and some of the other main writers penned a great piece for TIME about America's war on drugs. Highly recommended reading.

Also, if you're looking for thoughtful and analytical discussion on the show, here are some breeding grounds for provocative thought:

Heaven and Here (written by Free Darko's Bethlehem Shoals and several other contributors)

The House Next Door (Extremely in-depth Wire entries written primarily by Time Out New York television critic Andrew Johnston)

Tim Goodman's Blog (The SF Chronicler's episode deconstructions are always an enjoyable read)

Only 53 more hours for us West Coasters until launch!

Sampson Wouldn't Last Two Weeks in Bawlmore

Indiana basketball coach Kelvin Sampson shows once again he's no more adept at doin' business than Prop Joe's dipshit nephew. You gotta know not to talk shop over the phone, not even with texts.

In the words of Stringer Bell, Samsonite know he gon' have to eat the charge on this one.

Come on coach, are you kidding us? Excessive text messaging to recruits? How do you think the likes of Coach K and Roy Williams have been ruling the roost so long without getting busted by MCU? Cell phones are for setting up in-person meets, tops.

Although Sampson should land on his feet, hopefully coaching at some off-brand gang school like Eastern Tennessee Tech within the next few years. We only hope if he continues to use the cell that he at least develop some type of picture messaging code, ala Vondas-Marlo.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeyiittt.

Image via BoilerSports.com

Orioles Designated Hitter Is In The Game

Aubrey Huff recently revealed, in a satellite radio interview, (1) his distaste for his employer's city, (2) his affinity for dolphin flogging, and (3) the countless bodies he has laid waste to during his stint in Bodymore.

The former opinion seems to be a common one, held by the likes of Jimmy McNulty, Mayor Carcetti, Bubbles, and every other person sucked into urban decay by the vacuum of inner city hopelessness. The latter admission, scoffed at by more discreet body snatchers such as the Marlo Stanfield drug empire. As for the second, only Mother Theresa and Michael Moore don't list that as a hobby.

All of this hating on Baltimore coming from a (slightly above) average MLB infielder begs the question: how long would Huff last on the streets of Murdaland, USA without his Orioles contract? And what would his itinerary look like? Why, we're glad you asked.

8:15 a.m. Get hired as foot patrolman in West Baltimore for the BPD.

8:28 a.m. Masturbate in back alley.

9:24 a.m. Steal two rolls of toilet paper and a t-shirt from Bubble's Depot.

10:15 a.m. Hear "Farmer in the Dell" tune being whistled. Duck under car when you realize it's Omar and his sawed-off shotgun coming.

10:16 a.m. Masturbate under car.

11:05 a.m. Head back to station for lunch break.

11:06 a.m. Get fired for ejaculating into breakroom coffee pot.

11:44 a.m. Head down to the high rises. Score "lookout" gig for a Stanfield corner crew.

12:05 p.m. Sip on brown-bagged malt liquor, yell "5-0" when a police car rolls through street.

12:07 p.m. Attempt to masturbate 50 times in the next 50 minutes.

12:58 p.m. Mock black gentleman wearing glasses with suit and bow tie sitting on park bench reading The Nation.

12:58 p.m. Become acquainted with Brother Mouzone via bullet-in-the-knee handshake.

12:59 p.m. Stop the bleeding by ejaculating into gunshot wound.

1:15 p.m. Score capsule of "WMDs" from corner slanger to ease pain.

1:44 p.m. Wander through streets of West Baltimore, tripping balls.

1:49 p.m. Get hit by stop-sign running SUV driven by Donut.

1:50 p.m. Masturbate.

1:51 p.m. Perish.

4:55 p.m. Have corpse transfered to vacant by Chris Partlow and Snoop. Get nailed in for eternal rest.

Needless to say, we're quite excited we now have less than two months until The Wire returns for its fifth and final installment!