Wait, pound is tic tac toe, right?

In tribute to the Lakers-Celtics beginning tonight and uh, Magic Johnson. And the Arrested Development movie slated for 2009.

Former NHL Star Turns to Lucrative Balancing Biz

Theodore Fleury, who used to make a living amusing fans as a toothless gnome on ice, has switched his racket to entertaining minor league baseball crowds with in-between inning ball-on-bat balancing acts.

Pedro Applying the Ultimate D-Stamp

With the MLB amateur player draft quickly approaching, and the G-men to have their highest selection since 1997, we've been taking extra interest in the talent pool.

Pedro Alvarez of Vanderbilt is touted by most as the cream of the crop, the knees of the bees, the Omar of the rip 'n runners. And really, the only chance of him falling to five is the Boras factor. Which is fine since Justin Smoak is a switch-hitting 'Cocksmith of Teixeiran power and average and would be a morpheus fit in SF (especially since he totes a glove that would be as close to Snow as the Bay Area has seen since JT departed.)

Ped-Al and An-Vil, though, as corner infielders would surely comprise the best 3-4 haymaker combo in an MLB lineup since... Chipper and Teixeira?

Two-Thirds the Innings, Four-Thirds the F*cking Fun!

Evin "The Locomotive" Murphy finds time to belt out taint-tingling prose for LBMS from his real estate office in Laguna Beach, CA. In this edition, The Loco waxes nostalgic and beats down kids for snack-bar-bucks-redeemable foul balls at the local little league ballyard.

When you’re in your early twenties and you ride a desk for a living there’s only one thing that gets you through the grind. For me that one thing is little league baseball.

I think about it all the time; the snack bar gummy worms, taking grounders with your friends, wondering when you’ll be big enough to put one in the seats.

My nostalgia for America’s pastime prompted me to conclude that I should join a hardball team; lather my senses with big league chew, manicured grass, bean balls, beer bellies and polish sausage. Plus, it will be something to break up the monotony of my memoirs, which currently read: “Day 7940: Jacked off again...”

Play Ball!

Moral for High-School Sophomores: Wear Giants Gear, Potentially Get Laid

Looks like Tommy's showing a little love for the only team that would have scored less than the Pats did in Super Bowl XLII.

On a serious note, it's refreshing to see a superstar sporting an SF cap in public. Our appreciation increased a few figures on the totem pole for Brady. We're that easy. Fortunately not as easy as the 15-year old giving him the f*ck-me eyes though.

WNBA Desperate, Tries Honesty For New Campaign Slogan

We conclude that their therapist advised them on this maneuver. Or maybe, the league is simply going through its blunt-honesty phase of menopause.

WNBA: Expect Great

For just one night let's not be co-workers, let's be co-people

Barkley got Burgundy'd last week by EJ on the TNT set. Later that evening Chaz consumed five pulled pork sandwiches and a litre of potato salad from the post-show spread, and was reportedly heard telling the Turner production staff to not "act like you're not impressed."

In other Anchorman news, apparently Will Ferrell and director Adam McKay will reunite for a sequel as soon as they take care of their current projects. Though tingling vibrations of Caddyshack 2 and Dumb and Dumberer just shot down our spine, we remain optimistic.